Tuesday, May 22, 2012 , 2:49 PM
i've no idea what i'm gonna update about but i just felt like blogging . i guess i always turn to blogging whenever i feel so fucking shitty but i don't know who to confide in . you know sometimes , memories set me thinking .. what if you and i didn't exist in the first place , would i be happy now like how i used to be ? it's somehow contradicting because being together with you was probably the best damn thing that happened to me but somehow ... somehow it became the best fuckin' painful thing when you left me .. You know, I'm starting to have difficulties putting my feelings into words . probably i'm never comfortable about bringing up this issue anymore because I'd heard enough . they claimed that they understand , they thought that it was easy , but in fact , they knew nothing .. nothing at all .. it felt weird . every single time , when I look through our pictures , it felt weird . those pictures contained happy memories , back then . but as I look at them now , every glance brought pain and tears . it was supposed to bring back happy memories of us , but i guess , those were the ones that hurt the most .
Nobody . i'm nobody to post pictures of "us" on my blog anymore . thus , i blurred your face away .. you know what hurt the most ? All this while , i pretended that i was over you , that i hate you , that i'm better off without you . but i'm lying , i'm lying to myself . Because deep down , i know that i still love you .
